240510

Well it turns out that even if I have a fractured skull there isn't much to be done. Skull fractures are pretty interesting as it turns out. They can be described by location (temporal, basal) or type (linear, depressed). The depressed ones, and those accompanied by outer head wounds, obviously need some urgent treatment, what with the brain either being squashed or exposed to the world. The linear ones tend to be left alone though, since they heal by themselves given some time. I won't be playing any football for weeks and weeks now, so the risk of re-bumping that same area, even allowing for my penchant for walking into things, is negligible. Incidentally, I don't think I have fractured my skull - though I've been enjoying imagining what it would be like to have done so. I appreciate that the reality is probably less romantic. In fact, my skull is quite high up my list of bones I wouldn't like to fracture.

We picnicked at the beach yesterday. Some eye-catching people were on show. Parts of me are a rather darker shade than they used to be. It hurts a little. Summer, it would seem, has arrived.

210510

Well we lost, but only just. One-nil down at half time, we dominated the second half but by the end of ninety minutes only had one goal to show for a series of very good opportunities to score. There was a larger crowd than I had expected.

Reduced to ten men by a sending off in extra time, we conceded the decisive goal about ten minutes from the end. It was very clearly offside, and I was pretty glum about the whole business. My mini-world-cup-shaped losers' trophy resides in my parents' house, never to be looked at again.

My head still hurts from a foul on me in the second half. I'm not sure whether it was forearm, elbow or shoulder - something hard. I have a mild headache and occasional nausia, and some involuntary muscle twitching on the left side of my body; eyelid, bicep, thigh. Perhaps I'll die. Maybe I'm just tired.

I repeat - football is BLOODY FANTASTIC. Can't wait for next season.

170510

Once I have dragged myself around a football pitch for 90 more minutes tomorrow evening (there is a possibility of extra time), the season will be over. It has been increasingly frustrating because, one unco-operative knee aside, I'm actually in comparatively good shape.

Even though it's a Cup Final, it's completely meaningless by any reasonable definition: my team does not play at a very high standard, there will be 100 spectators at most, the local paper may carry a couple of paragraphs report on the match if anyone can be bothered to file one. And yet I very badly need us to win. I hope that makes sense to someone out there.

We're not favourites ahead of the game, but I have a positive feeling. I am taking the day off work to prepare. I hope it doesn't rain.

040510

Questions:

1. Why does anyone wish to advertise their political allegiance by way of a poster in their window / sign in their garden? Do they think anyone cares? Do they think they can influence others?

2. If you haven't made up your mind by now who to vote for, is it such a good idea to vote at all?

3. If you have made up your mind, why on earth would you change it in the next two days?

4. Aren't 'floating voters' just a group comprising those who don't care, those who are too lazy to investigate policies, and those too stupid to understand them?

5. Isn't it all fascinating?

010310

Phrases that annoy me, Part 2:

"You make your own luck"

Where do I start? How about a couple of dictionary definitions of the word 'luck'?

From our friends at wiktionary.org: "Something that happens to somebody by chance; a chance occurrence"

And from the generally more authoritative askoxford.com: "Noun. 1. Success or failure brought about by chance. 2. Chance considered as a force causing success or failure. 3. Good fortune."

Are we seeing a pattern? 'Luck' is a term used to describe things that happen to us over which we have no influence. Things that we have not planned, brought about or often even conceived of.

There are two conclusions I wish to draw here. Firstly, if you have played any part in bringing something about, it is NOT 'luck'. It might be hard work, good preparation, a reward of your intelligence, skill, courage or sheer perseverance, but it is NOT luck. This of course works both ways, in that someone can be negligent, lazy or stupid, leading to mistakes, mishaps and even catastrophes. So, whilst Union Carbide may contend that the Bhopal disaster was 'bad luck', the Indian Supreme Court found otherwise. Likewise, England's 1966 World Cup triumph was down to physical strength, skill and tactical prowess as opposed to 'good luck'. And of course Mr Tofik Bakhramov of Azerbaijan.

Secondly, by it's very nature, luck CAN NOT be 'made'. It is random occurrence, outside anyone's sphere of influence, and, theoretically at least, would happen regardless of any actions taken by individuals or groups. I accept that a person can take actions which allow the forces of luck to take effect. A good example of this is buying a lottery ticket. If you don't, you're obviously not going to win, but once you have, you have no influence over your chances of success (assuming the propriety of those who conduct the draw).

It was Gary Player who said: "The more I practice, the luckier I get". He knew that his golfing success was down to his own dedication and natural ability. Actually, I think we all know when we are entitled to claim credit for our successes. "You make your own luck" is a lazy platitude, and I think it's time we gave luck the credit it deserves. We have a good degree of control over the course of our lives, but chance will inevitably have a role to play, and life is far more interesting as a result.

270110

Phrases that annoy me Part 1:

"Everything happens for a reason"

This group of words, in this particular order, touches more nerves for me than perhaps any other, due to certain experiences with which I will not bore anyone here. Quite apart from the personal nature of my objection to this trite little package of good old-fashioned hogwash, however, it has always struck me as both nonsensical, and in no way helpful in what those who use it are trying to achieve.

I know that consoling someone after something bad has happened is not easy. Pain, whether physical or psychological in nature, can not be explained away, eased by logic or overpowered by wisdom. And yet words are often the only way we can reach someone who is suffering. What can you say to someone who is upset, that they have not heard before? Very little, in most cases. The mere fact that you take time to console and be with someone is likely to be far more important to them than anything you might actually say. Words are cheap, hollow, meaningless.

This is my first, though by no means greatest objection, to the use of 'Everything happens for a reason'. Is that supposed to cheer me up?! That this is my miserable destiny and no matter how I struggle to improve my lot, some all-powerful force will decide the course of my life? That I can look forward to my hopes and dreams being merrily trampled upon by some arbitrary cosmic boot for the rest of my life? That there is little point working towards anything or making plans, because what happens to me has already been decided? Thanks a bunch.

Of course some people use 'Everything happens for a reason' to explain happy accidents and unexpected good luck, or to comment on how apparently unconnected events can spark a train of events. A little more harmless in this context I guess, but essentially carrying the same message that we are helpless; bobbing up and down in the ocean of uncertainty waiting for something nice to float our way, or to be mowed down by a passing liner, bitten in two by a tiger shark, or simply to die of exposure. Balderdashery, if ever I heard it.

I've probably made it clear by now that I don't agree with 'Everything happens for a reason'. Not only does it absolve us from any blame, or indeed credit, for things that happen, it encourages a belief that we should remain passive in the face of 'Everything', that there is no point trying to change things. Most of all, it simply isn't true. Lots of things happen for no reason at all, that is to say no thought or planning has gone into them. They are not designed to achieve anything, and whilst they may have causes, these are often entirely unconnected to any consequences. Further, even events which have been planned sometimes have consequences which were not intended.

I do believe that we each have the power to influence in some way the vast majority of events in our lives. 'Everything happens for a reason' isn't a direct contradiction of this as such, but it does tend to divert attention from our ability to decide what those reasons should be, where we should attach meaning in life, and how we view our place in the world. We all have setbacks and moments of doubt. We all make mistakes. But most of us retain a good deal of scope to decide the direction of our lives. And even where we lack the power to influence events, we never lose the power to decide how we react to them.

In summary: lots of things happen for lots of different reasons; lots of other things happen for no reason at all; as individuals we have a choice as to how we are affected.

110110

New Year greetings, and if you happen to be a turkey, congratulations on having made it this far. I dread to think how many calories were thrown down my gullet between the middle of December and now, but cannot admit to any real sense of regret. Christmas Day is the only day of the year when I feel justified in eating an entire Terry's Chocolate Orange for breakfast. It's what Jesus would have wanted.

Coupled as it was with some time off work to have, and recover from, a small operation, my festive absence from work was the longest of my working life so far, a whopping 20 days, comprised of the following:

6 days of weekend
6 days of annual leave
4 days of public holiday / work shutdown
4 days of medical related absence

The extended period was a good opportunity to reflect on where I am in my personal development, on what I have achieved, and on what I want to do in the coming months and years. But instead I sat in the house eating, wandered around town people-watching and shopping, and watched TV.

That's not entirely true. Once I had recovered from the operation I was rather busy preparing for visits from, and making visits to, various family members. In summary, a pleasantly familiar Christmas and New Year. If I was in a fault-finding mood, perhaps a couple of extra days would have come in handy in order to catch up with certain individuals who are foolish enough to call themselves my friends, but I will no doubt bump into them over the coming months.

My employer allows its workers two days special paid leave in order to help them give up smoking, which seems a good incentive for a New Year's resolution. The first step for me is to take up smoking.